Danish is the Xenophobe’s Guide I actually wanted to read and I jumped into it right after finishing the Czech one. In comparison, the Danish Guide is much less quippy and more to the point, which doesn’t mean the book is just a dry list of facts.

Apart from Copenhagen, no town has over 255,000 inhabitants and few have more than 50,000, unless the weather is very sunny and the Swedes very thirsty.

Helen Dyrbye, Steven Harris, Thomas Golzen: Xenophobe’s Guide to the Danes

A lot of fun is made out of relationships of Denmark to its closest neighbours, Germany and Sweden, to its more distant Nordic brothers, Norway and Finland, and other nations across the globe. One of the later chapters focuses on the Danish language which is depicted in a very entertaining way, though it is by no means flattering.

There are really only two things that Danes may envy other nations: one is warm winters, and the other is a beautiful language.

Helen Dyrbye, Steven Harris, Thomas Golzen: Xenophobe’s Guide to the Danes

The authors discuss many other aspects of being Danish; their observations fall in line with other books on this topic. Danes are very egalitarian (Janteloven), no-nonsense private people with love of order, plans, and quality, and no reservations to express their dissatisfaction.

The Danes love getting married, but Danish marriages lack the famous ‘clutching power’ of the LEGO brick: Denmark has one of the highest divorce rates in Europe.

Helen Dyrbye, Steven Harris, Thomas Golzen: Xenophobe’s Guide to the Danes

At the same time, Danes are very social with people they know, tend to cultivate life-long friendships (making it hard for outsiders to break in), and promote cooperation and collaboration in any way, form, or shape possible from the youngest age. Their emphasis on family and their unique approach to child-care is, though, at odds with the highest divorce rate in Europe.

For the Danes, culture is a way of shedding the modern world and retracing their roots. All Danes are inveterate nature lovers. They cultivate an almost masochistic feeling of insignificance coupled with awe at nature’s power and the forces of life. Danish literature is full of examples of characters trying to come to terms with man’s essential loneliness and unimportance

Helen Dyrbye, Steven Harris, Thomas Golzen: Xenophobe’s Guide to the Danes

As the quote suggests, Danes also tend to have a close relationship with nature and the environment in general. They are one of the most diligent nations when it comes to recycling, alternative energy production, or use of chemicals.

One unequivocally positive thing can be said about the Danes and their language: though by mid-sentence they may begin glancing at their watches, they are endlessly tolerant of those who try to speak it. Maybe they recognise that Danish is so unspeakably difficult, no foreigner can make it worse.

Helen Dyrbye, Steven Harris, Thomas Golzen: Xenophobe’s Guide to the Danes

To balance things out, Danish shortcomings are discussed as well. Danes are humble to a fault and don’t like to brag about their achievements. Denmark is very homogeneous and has problems with integration, Muslims being the largest minority. To top it all off, the apparent paradise is bought by high taxation which seems to be working at the moment but is dependent on preserving the close-knit trusting spirit of the country where everyone pitches in.

This Xenophobe’s Guide is short and to the point, written in a light tone, with decent humor sprinkled in. I’m not in a position to judge the accuracy of the observations, but their conclusions greatly overlap with other books about Denmark; this consistency gives me some confidence about their conclusions, but I’ll have to see for myself.